Throwback Thursday: Top 5 90s Board Games
Throwback Thursday is your weekly concentrated dose of nostalgia, where we round up the bests and worsts of all things 90s (and the early 2000s.) This week: the best 90s board games.
Forget about baseball. The real American pastime is board games. My favorite part of growing up was being forced to stay home on a Friday night, instead of getting to go to Becca C’s sleepover parties (okay so maybe it wasn’t my favorite, but it was definitely one of the most memorable) and have “Game Night” with my family. We played them all, from Sorry to Monopoly to Trouble. And somehow, Dad always ended up winning, because of his “strategies”—Dad, I’m 22-years-old now, I know that’s code for “cheating”! Anyways, here are the top 5 90s board games.
This game taught me everything I needed to know about being a girl, but the most important lesson was: If you think a boy likes you, stalk him relentlessly until you win by stealing him from your friends. This game makes me feel better about all of the Facebook stalking I do—hey, it’s just how I win the game! It also taught me that, if I like a boy, I should call him relentlessly! It’s true, I learned the ways of young love from this game, although I’m not so sure my second grade boyfriend, Michael L. would say the same.
Don’t Wake Daddy
What every child needs instilled in them is a fear of their father in the night. This game had me tiptoeing around my house at all hours, and I wouldn’t even go near the door frame to my parents’ bedroom. Suffice it to say, playing Don’t Wake Daddy came in handy eventually, and was excellent training for my rebellious years of sneaking in and out of the house. Oh wait—who am I kidding, I never had rebellious years, I was just sneaking into the kitchen to steal the last slice of cake before anyone else. But still, I think Don’t Wake Daddy prepared me for that.
Don’t all parents want their kids to eventually grow up to become lawyers and doctors? Well this game was basically a medical degree starter kit, although it was not a game for the shaky-handed. That buzzer was loud enough to wake the dead—or even Daddy, but luckily I had my Don’t Wake Daddy skills down already! The pieces in Operation were so tiny, I’m pretty sure many small children have needed actual operations after playing the game, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a cousin or two of mine still has a spare rib or funny bone stuck somewhere in their intestines.
Guess Who is the game that taught all of us 90s kids the importance of facial recognition. But also, it taught us all just how many different kinds of mustaches there are out there! This game was like 20 Questions, only with flashcards of people. Is it just me, or was the first question asked always “Is your person a boy?” or “Is your person a girl?” to eliminate half the board? Once you found out the gender of the other player’s person, the game was over in about three minutes. And yet I could still play for hours! I think the reason I liked the game so much is because it made me feel like a detective—I guess at age six, I still hadn’t discovered Clue.
Hungry Hungry Hippos
It’s no wonder that obese Americans are mocked relentlessly by other countries for being fat. But, it’s not our fault; we were taught by Hungry Hungry Hippos that eating the most, the fastest, makes you win! While other kids in other countries were making shoes in factories, or fetching water from rivers, we were sitting in our living room trying to out-eat our opponents. This game lays down the groundwork for other American pastimes like pie and hot-dog-eating contests. That being said, it had everything I wanted a kid, which was wild animals, and snacks—it’s the simple things in life. Plus, if you happened to be playing on a slant, you had an advantage “strategy” (cough, Dad, cough).